So you’ve decided to buy an adult product. Maybe it’s your first, maybe it’s an upgrade, but either way you’ve hit the same wall everyone hits: thousands of options, euphemism-filled listings, and a nagging worry that you’re somehow doing this wrong.
You’re not. If you’ve felt awkward shopping for these, you are firmly in the majority. In a nationally representative US survey, 52.5% of women and 44.8% of men had used a vibrator at some point in their lives, and about one in four women had used one in the past month (Herbenick et al., Journal of Sexual Medicine ↗, 2009). That study is a few years old now, and if anything the numbers have grown. This is a normal purchase made by most adults, and you deserve the same clear, safety-first guidance you’d get before buying a mattress or a kitchen knife.
That’s what this is. No euphemisms, no judgment, no assumptions about your body, your experience, or who (if anyone) you’re using these with. Just the evidence on materials, sizing, lubricant, and cleaning, so you can choose confidently.
Key Takeaways
- Most sex toys are unregulated. Because they’re sold as “novelty” items, there’s no required safety testing, and lab analysis has found banned phthalates inside products labeled “body-safe” (Sipe et al., 2023 ↗).
- Material is the most important decision. Choose non-porous silicone, glass, or stainless steel; avoid jelly, PVC, and other porous materials that can hold bacteria and leach chemicals.
- Anything used anally needs a flared base. Sexual devices account for over half of the roughly 39,000 US emergency-room visits for retained rectal objects in a recent decade, and most required hospitalization.
- Match your lubricant to your material. Oil breaks down latex condoms in about a minute; silicone lubricant can degrade silicone toys. Water-based is the safe default.
- Cleaning isn’t optional. HPV can survive on a toy even after cleaning, so wash every time and don’t share.
Why does material matter more than anything else?#
The short answer: because it’s the one thing about a product that directly affects your health, and it’s also the thing manufacturers are least honest about.
Materials fall into two camps. Non-porous materials have a sealed, smooth surface that can be fully cleaned and, in most cases, sterilized. Porous materials are full of microscopic pores that trap skin cells, fluids, and bacteria no matter how carefully you wash them. That distinction sounds small, but it’s the entire foundation of a safe choice.
The porous materials, the ones you want to avoid, go by friendly-sounding names: jelly, jelly rubber, PVC, vinyl, “realistic” or “skin-like” blends, TPE, and TPR. They feel soft and they’re cheap, which is exactly why they’re everywhere. The problem is what they’re made of and what they hold onto. The safe, non-porous options are medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, and hard ABS plastic.
Here’s why this isn’t just fussiness. When a research team ran the first study to combine physical abrasion with chemical testing on sex toys, every single product they tested contained phthalates, the plastic-softening chemicals linked to hormone disruption. Some toys exceeded the safety limit set for children’s toys, and some contained phthalates that are outright banned in the European Union. Earlier studies found phthalates making up an astonishing 24 to 60 percent of these products by weight (Sipe et al., Microplastics and Nanoplastics ↗, 2023).
As a practical rule: when in doubt, choose a non-porous material. Sexual-health clinicians are direct about it. Non-porous materials like silicone, hard plastic, glass, and stainless steel can be cleaned effectively with soap and water, while porous materials can harbor pathogens even after washing and may contain phthalates, “a potential human carcinogen” (Rullo et al., Sexual and Relationship Therapy ↗, 2018). If a listing won’t clearly tell you what a product is made from, that silence is your answer.
Are sex toys actually regulated for safety?#
Here’s the part that surprises most people, and it’s the reason you have to be your own quality control.
No, most of them are not meaningfully regulated. Sex toys fall into a strange legal gap. In the US, they’re generally overseen by the Consumer Product Safety Commission, not the FDA, and the CPSC “has not imposed labeling or invoked analogous materials standards” for them the way it has for other products. Manufacturers get around stricter medical-device rules with three little words on the box: “for novelty use only.” That label, as the Sipe researchers note, “does not reflect consumer use patterns and has little legal meaning” (Sipe et al., 2023 ↗).
The contrast with children’s products is stark. US law permanently bans children’s toys and childcare articles containing more than 0.1 percent of certain phthalates, and a 2017 rule expanded that to eight restricted phthalates (U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission ↗). Think about that. A chemical cocktail is banned from a baby’s teething ring, yet it’s perfectly legal in a product used on the most absorbent tissue in your body, with no testing required.
And the “body-safe” label on a package? In the Sipe study, one toy marketed as phthalate-free tested positive for phthalates, and another carried both a “novelty gag gift, not intended for safe use” disclaimer and a “body safe” claim on the same product. The label means whatever the manufacturer wants it to mean. That’s why material and the retailer’s reputation matter far more than any badge on the box.
How big is this industry, really?#
One more reason to stop feeling like the odd one out: this is a massive, mainstream, fast-growing industry.
The global sex toy market was valued at 62.7 billion by 2030, a compound annual growth rate of 8.69 percent. North America accounts for about a third of that revenue, and e-commerce drives nearly 64 percent of sales, which tells you most people are doing exactly what you’re doing right now: researching quietly and buying online (Grand View Research ↗, 2024).
The exact dollar figure varies depending on which research firm you ask and what they count, but the direction is unanimous and unmistakable. You’re not browsing a fringe corner of the internet. You’re a consumer in one of the fastest-growing categories in wellness, and you can shop with the confidence that comes with that.
Choosing the right size#
Size anxiety stops more first-time buyers than anything else, and it’s the area where the advice “just get what looks fun” can actually cause harm. So let’s be practical.
For anything insertable, start smaller than your ego suggests. If you’re new to a type of product, choose a modest size and a simple shape. You can always size up on a future purchase; you can’t return the one that was intimidating or uncomfortable. Comfort and relaxation matter far more than dimensions, and there’s no prize for ambition here. This is also a great place to learn what your body actually responds to, and understanding your own anatomy makes every choice easier. Our guide to where the clitoris really is is a good starting point if that’s new territory.
For anything used anally, there is one non-negotiable rule: it must have a flared base. This is a genuine safety issue, not a preference. The anus can create suction that pulls an object inward, and unlike the vagina, the rectum has no “end,” so a toy without a wide, flared base can be drawn up and become irretrievable.
This happens far more often than you’d think. Researchers estimated 38,948 US emergency-room visits for retained rectal foreign objects between 2012 and 2021, and 55.4 percent involved a sexual device. More than 40 percent of those patients were sick enough to require hospitalization, and the numbers have been climbing (American Journal of Emergency Medicine ↗, 2023). Across multiple international case series, sex toys make up 41 to 68 percent of retained rectal objects, and studies note that flared bases and stoppers could prevent many of these injuries (International Journal of Colorectal Disease ↗, 2018). A flared base is not a nice-to-have. It’s the difference between a good experience and a very bad night.
Which lubricant works with which material?#
Lubricant compatibility is the detail almost nobody warns you about, and getting it wrong can ruin a product or, worse, a condom. Three rules cover nearly everything.
Rule one: never use oil with latex condoms. Oil-based products destroy latex almost instantly. In laboratory testing, as little as 60 seconds of exposure to mineral oil caused a roughly 90 percent loss of strength in latex condoms; water-based lubricants caused no such damage (Voeller et al., Contraception ↗). The World Health Organization is explicit that oil-based lubricants should be avoided with latex condoms, recommending water- or silicone-based options instead (WHO advisory note ↗, 2012). If condoms are part of your plan, oil is off the table.
Rule two: don’t use silicone lubricant on silicone toys. This is the widely repeated advice, and it’s the safe default, though the science behind it is softer than people assume. Sexual-health clinicians note that silicone-based lubricants are “not recommended for silicone devices” because they may degrade the material’s surface over time (Rullo et al., 2018 ↗). To be transparent, there’s little controlled research quantifying exactly how much damage occurs with modern, high-quality silicone. But degradation creates a rougher surface that’s harder to clean, so when in doubt, keep them apart.
Rule three: when you’re unsure, choose water-based. Water-based lubricant is the universal donor. It’s safe with latex condoms, safe with every toy material including silicone, and easy to clean up. Its only real drawback is that it can dry out faster, which is solved with a quick reapplication.
Here’s how the three lubricant types stack up against condoms and each toy material:
| Lubricant | Latex condoms | Silicone toys | Glass / steel / ABS |
|---|---|---|---|
| Water-based | ✓ Safe | ✓ Safe | ✓ Safe |
| Silicone-based | ✓ Safe | ✗ May degrade | ✓ Safe |
| Oil-based | ✗ Degrades latex | ✓ Safe | ✓ Safe |
The simplest setup for most people is a good water-based lubricant, which pairs safely with everything.
How to clean and store them safely#
One finding makes people sit up, and it’s the reason cleaning stops being an afterthought. In a study where women used two different vibrators and researchers swabbed them for human papillomavirus, HPV was still detected on 56 percent of the porous TPE toys immediately after cleaning, and on 40 percent a full 24 hours later. On the non-porous silicone toys, HPV was found on 44 percent right after cleaning but on none of them after 24 hours (Anderson et al., Sexually Transmitted Infections ↗, 2014). The material matters twice: once for what it leaches, and again for what it lets you wash away.
Shared devices carry real risk. Clinicians have linked shared sex toys to bacterial vaginosis and HPV, and to at least one documented case of HIV transmission. The guidance is straightforward: don’t share; if you do share, clean thoroughly between users and use a new condom on the toy each time (Rullo et al., 2018 ↗).
For day-to-day care, the routine is simple. Wash non-porous toys with warm water and mild soap before and after every use, and let them dry completely. Many silicone, glass, and stainless-steel toys without motors can even be boiled or run through the dishwasher, but always check the manufacturer’s instructions first, especially for anything with a battery or motor. Store them clean, dry, and ideally separated, since some soft materials can react and degrade when they sit touching each other.
Where to actually buy#
Where you buy matters almost as much as what you buy, because the retail layer is your best defense against the unregulated market.
Buy from a reputable specialist retailer, not a generic marketplace. Large online marketplaces are flooded with counterfeits and mystery-material products, often with fake reviews and listings that dodge the word “body-safe” entirely. A dedicated sexual-wellness retailer, by contrast, stakes its reputation on curation. The good ones publish clear material information, vet their brands, and employ staff who can answer questions without judgment.
Read the listing like a skeptic. A trustworthy product page tells you the exact material, in specific terms like “100% body-safe silicone” or “borosilicate glass,” not vague marketing like “soft and realistic feel.” If the material is buried, unclear, or missing, move on. Given that even “phthalate-free” claims have failed lab testing, specificity and a seller’s accountability are what you’re really buying.
Discretion is standard, so don’t let it be a barrier. Reputable sellers ship in plain, unmarked packaging and bill under a neutral company name. This is the norm across the industry, not a special favor, so you never have to choose between privacy and quality. And remember, buying these products is as ordinary as it gets. If you’re carrying any lingering worry about whether your interest is “normal,” our look at how much sex is actually normal puts that question to rest. A lot of this hesitation traces back to the sex education most of us never got, which our adult sex ed refresher was written to fix.
Frequently asked questions#
Are cheap sex toys safe?#
Not reliably. Very cheap toys are far more likely to be made from porous materials like jelly or PVC, which can contain phthalates and can’t be fully cleaned. Lab testing has found banned phthalates even in products marketed as “body-safe” (Sipe et al., 2023 ↗). You don’t need to buy the most expensive option, but you should insist on a clearly labeled non-porous material like silicone, glass, or stainless steel.
What does “body-safe” actually mean?#
In practice, very little. Because most sex toys aren’t subject to mandatory safety standards, “body-safe” is an unregulated marketing term. Researchers found products carrying both a “novelty, not for safe use” disclaimer and a “body-safe” claim at the same time. The reliable signal isn’t the label but the specific material: medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, or ABS plastic.
Do I really need a flared base for anal toys?#
Yes, without exception. Sexual devices account for more than half of the roughly 39,000 US emergency-room visits for retained rectal objects over a recent decade, and over 40 percent of those patients required hospitalization (Am J Emerg Med ↗, 2023). A flared base prevents a toy from being drawn in too far to retrieve. Any product used anally should have one, always.
Can I use the same lubricant with everything?#
Water-based lubricant, yes. It’s safe with latex condoms and every toy material. Oil-based lubricants degrade latex condoms and should never be combined with them, and silicone-based lubricants may degrade silicone toys over time. When in doubt, water-based is the safe universal choice.
How often should I clean them?#
Every single time, before and after use. HPV can survive on a toy even after cleaning, particularly on porous materials, so a thorough wash with warm water and mild soap isn’t optional (Anderson et al., 2014 ↗). Non-porous toys are far easier to clean effectively, which is yet another reason to choose them.
The bottom line#
Choosing an adult product well comes down to a handful of decisions, none of them complicated once you can see past the marketing.
Pick a non-porous material: silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Treat “body-safe” labels with healthy skepticism and buy from retailers who tell you exactly what you’re getting. Start smaller than you think you need, and make a flared base non-negotiable for anything used anally. Reach for water-based lubricant as your default, and wash every toy, every time.
That’s it. You now know more about buying these products safely than the vast majority of people who own them, which is exactly as it should be, because you deserve the same evidence-based care here that you’d expect anywhere else in your health. If you’d like to keep building that foundation, our judgment-free sex education refresher is the natural next read, and where the clitoris really is will change how you think about anatomy. Whatever you choose, you made the decision thoughtfully, and that’s the only “right” way to do it.