Fable 1) Bunnies are regular wanting.
That is what I all the time pictured once I imagined a bunny, and it’s best to get pleasure from him for a second earlier than I spend this publish tearing aside your conception that that is what a bunny seems to be like.
It seems that the above bunny is only a entrance. It’s what bunnies hope you assume they appear like. The troubling actuality is that they much more usually look about as regular as this:
This creature might simply move for an alien in a science fiction film.
Fable 2) Bunnies are cute.
Once more, you most likely consider a bunny being cute, like this pleasant little being.
False. Most bunnies are about this stage of cute:
Fable 3) Bunnies are likable.
I need you to take a look at this bunny:
Think about what he’s wish to be round. Does he look playful? Does he appear like he’d be nice to hang around with?
No, he doesn’t. He seems to be like an actual dick. He seems to be bitey, he seems to be self-involved, and he strikes me as an enormous ache within the ass to spend time with.
Once I see images of canine and cats, I normally wish to play with them. They’re on the identical wavelength as people. But it surely’s unimaginable to image a bunny bouncing over to the door excitedly if you get residence like a canine or simply being calm and self-aware like a cat. The one two issues I can image a bunny being are scared and a dick.
So let’s simply preserve our expectations in the proper place right here.
Okay time to dive in. We’ll begin with a simple one:
This bunny isn’t a catastrophe like among the others, however simply examine him (I’m making all of them male, simply cope with it) to the “normal-looking bunny” up prime. The traditional bunny seems to be like a traditional expressionless animal. This one seems to be like a hapless loser. And animals aren’t presupposed to look human adjectives, like hapless. But bunnies look human adjectives on a regular basis, as you’ll see.
One of many different issues bunnies have the odd inclination to do is to appear like different animals. I’m probably not certain why they assume that is okay, however this conduct is rampant within the bunny group. For instance, this bunny is posing as a hamster:
This one is pretending to be a cat:
This one, a bulldog:
This bunny seems to be like a big rat on the verge of tears:
Stick a pair tusks in these two jowls and also you’ve accomplished your faux walrus:
Right here we now have a miniature knockoff lion. Borderline insane conduct. However not less than I’ll give it to him that it’s a reasonably correct depiction:
A much less profitable try:
This one seems to be like a bunny, which is refreshing. However is he kidding with that fucking tongue? In fact, bunnies can’t simply have a traditional tongue you’d assume they’d have, it must be an absurdly mini human-looking tongue.
Lastly, we get to a reasonably normal-looking, even cute, bunny—naturally, he ruins it by doing obnoxious air quotes:
Shallowness doesn’t run at a premium within the bunny world, however this one takes the cake for having the bottom:
An emo bunny:
And couldn’t have been too happy to finish up right here:
Right here we now have two of the eeriest-looking animals I’ve ever laid eyes on:
Think about waking up in the course of the night time and the 2 of them are simply there, in your room, in that actual pose, taking a look at you. Horrifying.
Fast aspect observe—so you know the way generally you have a look at a phrase for lengthy sufficient that it begins to only look bizarre, and fallacious? And also you’re abruptly unsure how something is spelled? That’s how I really feel proper now about images of bunnies. I’ve been taking a look at so a lot of them that I’m not even certain about something anymore. Like this little fellow right here:
Proper now, this seems to be absolutely like just a little canine to me. However I’m unsure if it truly seems to be like a traditional bunny and I’m simply so fucked up within the head that I can’t inform anymore. Somebody please let me know.
Persevering with. And what higher strategy to proceed than a meth addict bunny.
Right here we now have a full-fledged Wasp on his property in Martha’s Winery.
Right here we now have two bunnies posing as human grandparents, which might be odd sufficient with out regardless of the hell is going on with the brown one’s ear.
Honey Boo Boo’s mother:
Imply boarding college headmaster:
Your mother within the 70’s. Simply actually not clear why a bunny would appear like that.
Now we’re moving into tremendous bizarre territory. Here’s a official British cartoon character bunny:
A bunny who forgot to cease being a fetus:
A fucking egg bunny. I don’t even care anymore.
Oh for Christ’s sake. Actually? You could have one life, and that is what you’re bringing to the desk? Shifting on…
Positive, why the fuck not. Nothing might shock me at this level.
Congrats, cloud bunny. I assumed I had seen all of it, and also you go forward and do that. Get pleasure from your life.
Effectively I’d say that’s nearly loads for in the future. I’ll by no means consider bunnies the identical once more now that I do know the grim actuality, and I assume you received’t both.
I’ll depart you with a bunny that’s simply fucking sick of being a bunny. Understandably.
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The Primate Awards
Why Bugs Wreck All the things
The Darkish Secrets and techniques of the Hen World